The parents are the most important persons in the life of a child. The autistic child needs their support in order to evolve. It is from them that the child will receive first and foremost the encouragement for progress!
IF THE PARENT HIMSELF DOES NOT BELIEVE THAT THE CHILD WILL SUCCEED IN SOMETHING, WHY WOULD THE CHILD EVEN TRY?
All parents go through great confusement and sorrow, basically experiencing mourning, after their child has been diagnosed with autism. Parents think that their situation is now definite and that it cannot change anymore. Most specialists do not give encouraging messages about the future of the child, often merely emphasising the things the child will not succeed to do.
A DIAGNOSES IS NOT A CONVICTION, BUT RATHER THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS DEVELOPMENT.
Autism is a disorder which manifests itself mainly in communication and interpersonal relationships. The children confuse us, we do not understand why they do what they do and we want them to stop acting in their special strange manner, although their behavior is usually what they seem to need.
The children make us feel incompetent, because we cannot influence them, like we would do with other children. They give us the impression that they do not want us near and that they prefer to be alone.
But this is not true!! The child wants to approach us, but just does not know how to do it! Besides, their experiences with other people are often not very satisfying for them. Often an adult demands something of them, or he reprimands them. It is certain that the relation with the parents is mostly full of sadness and despair.... It does not happen enough that the children just experience joy in the contact with another person. But they do feel the confusion, the embarrassment and the indignation of the other person, that is for sure!
It is important that the first step for the parents, after the diagnosis of their child, will be the signing up with a parent group. By receivng support from other parents, they will not feel alone with their problem and they will finally feel understood.
At the same time it is necessary parents get informed on how their child behaves and that they understand his needs, so that they can respond constructively to his demands. They will have to learn ways to be able to provoke the right behaviours in their child, that are important in the phase he is in at that moment. The parents will also have to learn to be patient and confident that everything else will come in time. In short, they will be able to help their child evolve.
AN AUTISTIC CHILD DOES NOT NEED TO DISPLAY UNDESIRED BEHAVIOURS!
THERE IS A SOLUTION FOR EVERYTHING, OFTEN A VERY EASY ONE!
It is very desirable that parents learn how to play therapeutically with their child, to encourage sociability and reciprocity. The best option would be to start a therapeutic play program at home, with trained relatives or volunteers. The longer the child plays in the playroom, the space in which he is not distracted and where communication evolves in a manner he understands, the quicker the child will progress. The goal is that the child ‘gets out’ of his autism, that his egocentrism decreases and nothing less!
In order for parents to be effective, it is necessary that they feel good. Gradually they will learn to evaluate the situation differently and they will be able to use techniques that will help them to be optimistic and happy. It is then that the child will have the greatest progress, believe me!
CHILDREN HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE HAPPY AND PROUD PARENTS.
OUR CHILDREN ARE HERE TO MAKE US HAPPY, NOT MISERABLE!